Simon & Schuster
Come As You Are
Come As You Are
An essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works — based on groundbreaking research and brain science—that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy. This is the revised and updated edition of the book.
Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a “pink pill” for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist — but as a result of the research that’s gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women’s sexuality works than we ever thought possible. Come as You Are explains it all.
The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. We never need to judge ourselves based on others’ experiences. Because women vary, and that’s normal.
Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman’s arousal, desire, and orgasm.
Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible.
And Emily Nagoski can prove it.
Want more? There is now a companion volume: The Come As You Are Workbook!
Dynamo Note: This one of our favorite books on women's sexuality - it's acessibly-written, science-backed, and fun to boot! There are even mini workbooks after almost every chapter that you can complete alone or with a partner! We should however note that this book focuses primarily on the experiences of cisgender women - because, as the author mentions, we don't yet have the widespread research to support whether what she posits is true for cis women is true for trans* folks. We look forward to future editions, more data, and more peoples' stories to be told!